Wade Reaves “Embracing the Suck”
Wade Reaves was a young man, 19 years old, going to college and enjoying his life, having fun at the “cool” job of being a “bad guy” in a Federal Program training Law Enforcement officers through simulated situations. His life was moving along fine when one day he turned the corner and ran BAM!!! right into an unexpected “Brick Wall”!
It started out with some severe leg pain that just wouldn’t quit! At first, he babied it along, thinking it would soon feel better, only it didn’t, it got worse, so he went to get it checked out and found that this was no ordinary pain in his leg; this was the Big C – cancer! It was in his bone. The doctors called it osteo sarcoma, at least in the beginning. His uncle had just died of pancreatic cancer less than a year earlier, so cancer is something he was all too familiar with. He and his mom got in touch with his uncle’s cancer doctor who happened to be an Ewing’s Sarcoma specialist.
Wade’s diagnosis was soon refined to the more rare Ewing’s Sarcoma, and he was referred to Wolfson Children’s Hospital where they were better equipped to treat his diagnosis. It was kind of confusing at first with all the tests and things moving so fast. Wade started treatments at the Pediatric Hospital and enjoyed laughing and joking with the nurses who were more his age, as well as the other patients. This helped divert his attention away from the anxiety and side effects of the treatments. His biggest fear was losing his leg (he plays the drums-country, blues, and rock). When he was laughing and telling jokes, he wasn’t thinking about those possibilities.
Wade has always been kind of a loner. He didn’t ever have a lot of friends, just a few, and was just fine in his own company. He didn’t like depending on anyone. His family was split, so he didn’t have a lot of support. There were three people from his church that offered help and one guy who was consistent to call and check on him, call him to go for a coffee, or help him get to an appointment – that kind of thing. But basically, Wade did most of it on his own. He didn’t want to think too far into the future, take just one day at a time. That’s all he needed to do, just focus on one day. The only future he was interested in was waking up in the morning. He developed a kind of dark humor that helped him cope. And one day at a time he took that brick wall down! Six months after he finished chemo, he started college!
Wade is now 12 years in remission! He is a Staff Sergeant in the Georgia Army National Guard in Field Artillery, with 5 missions under his belt, and 2 of those were in combat zones! He still prefers to live in the present – one day at a time. But, he says, “I’m glad I have the second chance I do.” The thing that gives him the most joy is waking up in his own bed! Oh, the joy of little things! He is also certifying to be a Personal Trainer. He has that easy southern charm and is a joy to talk to.
When asked what advice he would give to a newly diagnosed Ewing’s Sarcoma person, Wade said, “Take it one day at a time…You’re in it for the long haul. In the military, we call it “Embracing the Suck”. Use your forced downtime to reflect on life and properly adapt to the challenges ahead. Laugh and joke no matter what the situation is…Dark humor is your best friend.”
I guess laughing is always better than crying. Crying will give you a headache. (borrowed from Marjorie Hinckley) Wade is certainly not one to take things too seriously. He was constantly laughing and making jokes as we talked. Learning to take life one day at a time is good advice and a great way to tear down a brick wall.
Wade is easy to talk to and has offered to talk to anyone who feels like they would like to chat with him. He can be reached through Facebook. Look for: Wade Reaves (Benjamin Button) He’ll explain all about that one…a funny story.
In the photos, Wade is the one with the aviator sunglasses and the mustache. He is with his soldiers showing the cards some school children sent them when they were deployed.
About the Featured CL7 Writer
Wendy Roberts is a retired Nurse with over 40 years of healthcare experience and a lifelong love of writing. Through freelance medical writing, she continues to make a difference - using her knowledge and compassion to help people navigate challenges with clarity and hope.
